Dead as a Doorknob
by gillsbluefeather
Summary: In which a rest in the woods is desturbed by a "hunting trip". FANGxMAX, IGGYxNUDGE, GAZZYxOMELETS... I wasn't kidding about that last one!
1. Chapter 1

** _Hi, I was bored and this popped into my head, hope it makes you feel surrounded by sparkliness and prettyful shinies! (Long Story!)_**

**_Disclaimer: Fang threatened to make me eat Max's cooking for the rest of my life if I didn't do it so, I do NOT own Maximum Ride or Twilight? (Do you seriously think I would have to pay money for it if I owned it?!?!) _**

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**Prologue**

It was a perfect sunny day,

we had just stopped in the forest to rest while on our way to, well, we don't actually know, but still, we were on our way there!

We had just walked into a clearing and saw a cute little deer, when I felt something coming.

We hid in the shadows of the trees,

so they couldn't see us, but we could see them.

Something,

two things,

two…

_Two- two- TWO PEOPLE!_

These things, people if you must, were the fastest humans I've ever seen, and they attacked the poor deer!

Of course, being the big mouth that I am,

I walked right from behind the trees and had my mind set on preaching them a thing or two about respect,

but when they turned around, their eyes were completely black. And there was a red liquid dripping from one of the guys dimples, while he was showing me a not-so-friendly grin.

And there I stood,

physically dead as a doorknob.

Right about now was when the screams to run from the flock kick in,

and I realize that my life sucks.

But get this,

I still stood there,

dead as a doorknob.

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_Well, I liked it! R&R If you likes da prologue! Or if you hates it, either way! And remember, everytime you read and review a child from notverymanyreviewsotopia get's one free review that they worked very hard on!_


	2. Chapter 2

_You know what read4urlife? If you think my story sucks, than that's a first. You're the first review outta about 60 in all my stories that is rude, and if you didn't like_

_it, why'd you write a review anyway…_

_Moving on to the story!_

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Then, being in that situation, I did something I'd never dreamed of doing in front of someone, even this thing!

I yelled "U&A", snapped out my wings, and flew away with my flock.

If that thing can talk, I just hope it doesn't tell some type of reporter about us.

Even though we defeated Itex, we still have Mr. Chu to worry about.

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**Edwards POV**

After our 'hunting trip', I asked if Jasper saw that _angel._

I called her an angel cause she had wings, and that's the only explanation I can think of.

Anyway, Jasper said yes, and we decided to inform Carlisle, so here I was, explaining it to them, or at least, trying to.

"So let me get this straight, it was a… flying… girl?"

"Yes Carlisle a flying girl, and when she yelled 'U&A', frankly I have no idea what that means, the other kids behind the trees yelling for her to run, flew away with her."

"Well, maybe we should inform the police." Rosalie said, clearly not wanting anything to do with this.

"No," I said. "I got a glimpse inside her head, she was scolding herself after she flew away for flying in front of Jasper and I, she didn't want us to inform anyone for fear of a Mr. Chu."

"Well I think we should find her!" Emmet yelled, obviously wanting to go see if I was making it up or not.

Then Alice stiffened, she was having a vision.

When she look alarmed I asked what it was, "That girl, her and her friends were surrounded by robots, dozens of robots."

**Max's POV**

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We were in a field, making bets on what that thing was, when we heard a buzzing sound, and we all got into a fighting stance.

We hadn't heard that sound since the last we had fought M-geeks. So we knew what was coming to us.

Surprisingly, there were only a couple dozen, probably seventy or eighty.

I heard them sigh with relief.

When they finally got here, they came at us with full speed.

I was punching and kicking, when I saw

One coming from behind of Iggy.

"Behind you, Ig." I yelled. I saw him do a back flip then while in the air, rearrange the M-geeks face with his shoes.

I'm so proud of him!

I just roundhoused another one, and it was actually already over.

**Edwards POV**

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"Where are they, Alice?"

"At the meadow."

Bella was back at the cottage, she had no idea this was going on.

When we got to the meadow, we couldn't believe what we saw.

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_Dear all, sorry for lack of fighting moves, I don't have my Maximum Ride books with me right now, and I 'm not a fighter myself._

_Disclaimer: I do not own -------- MR or T, -------- (HEEHEE, that looks like movie ratings!) _


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi! I know I have lot's of fans, (about two people) but keep the (very little) comments down to a low!_

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Max's POV

That guy from before immediately came out of the woods, and we all took our fighting stances.

He look different, his eyes! They were gold instead of black, it reminded of Angel's wings.

"Very good! You are particularly observant!" Looks like he has something else in common with Angel.

"Angel, who's Angel? What do you mean by in common with her?" "She mean's _me._" you could imagine the look on their faces when a six year old stepped up.

" And believe me Max, he can't do anywhere near as cool stuff with minds as I can!"

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Edward's POV

A _six _year old stepped up. Well that was unexpected!

"She means _me. _And believe me Max," She looked at the one in front, wait, that was Max? I thought max was a guy!

"he can't do anywhere near as cool stuff as I can!" _Yeah right!_ I thought.

"Oh you should never have thought that!"

"Oh, Angel?" The girl, Max, said.

"Yes, Max?" Angel looked up to her with respect and love.

"Don't hurt him too hard, Okay? You know he thought you were just a six year old." Did she realize who she was talking to?

"Okay, and Max," she said with and evil glimmer in her eye. "I can tell Gazzy and Nudge want to help so can they? Cause he called you a boy!"

I saw a look of anger, and the tall dark guy gave me a look that said, _wouldn't wanna be you right now! _

"Yes, Gazzy and Nudge can help!"

The to smallest other than Angel came up.

They all held hands, and suddenly I was doing a jig and flapping my arms like crazy, I was in a lot of pain, but for some reason I wasn't able to scream. I did move my mouth trying to scream at the top of my lungs, and when my mouth moved, someone who sounded exactly like me said, "AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PINK FUZZLE MONSTERS ARE OUT TO GET ME!!! AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

I was humiliated, and those kids were going to pay!

"Okay guys, stop." Max said through giggles.

"Ahh, why!" the kids said, but they stopped.

"I'm gonna get those little kids."

"Stop Edward!" Alice had to grab my arm.

"Yeah Edward, stop, if you know what's good for you."

"Why should I?" I asked, fuming.

"Well, to keep it simple, _**NEVER **_lay a hand on any of these people, and you _MIGHT_ live to the next day." "Oh really?" "Really" Then I did something I never thought I'd ever do in my vampirical life, I got beat up by a human.

She must've known what I was about to do, cause she punched me in the face.

I didn't even have enough time to react when she kneed me in the… rough spot.

I just went numb after that, I mean, I know I 'm a vampire, but that still hurt a lot man, a lot!

They all had to hold her back before she connected her fist to my eye.

"Don't you EVER do that again!" She whispered, her voice dangerously low.

The only thing I could bring myself to ask was, "What are you?"

"Oh like you don't know!" the tall dark guy yelled.

"That's because I don't!" I yelled back.

"Oh yeah! Just like you didn't know who I was, or any of us for that matter!" Max yelled.

"We can help you!" Carlisle spoke up for the first time.

And this time the black girl spoke up. "To heck you can help us!

We've dealt with your kind before!

Finding us in a bad situation, taking us in, taking care of us, and right when we get used to it, right then, you either leave or we find out you were with the bad guys!

Everyone we meet does it!

And they all find some pathetic excuse!

Always wanting to have children, but never being able to, not wanting to see us be in pain anymore, I wouldn't be surprised if you said you were vampires!

Ones that said we were 'safe' because you didn't eat humans, well who cares if you ate humans! I would take that ten times over this!

Always running, always hiding, never having a home, never being able to stay in one place for more than five days!

I hate it! I HATE IT!"

And she burst out crying.

For once, I let go of my anger, and wondered just what they've gone through.

I actually felt… bad… for these kids, sorry for them.

Esme just ignored the glares of hatred, walked right up to the crying girl, and gave her a hug.

They stood like that for a few seconds. And got up. "Sweetie, do you want to stay here, for just one night?" "Max?" the girl asked. "Angel?" Max asked. "All clear." Angel said.

Max sighed. "One night baby, one night, then we can go back to Arizona and stay with my mom, she should be healed by then."

"I love you Max."

"I love you too Nudge."

So they all walked with us, Nudge in the middle. Believe me when I tell you, I plan on finding out what is wrong with them.

Angel leaned towards Max's ear.

And Max smiled at me, "How ya gonna find out if none of us tell you after all the enemies that know us for real, none of them will tell you.

But I guess if you REALLY want to know, find out my whole name before I go, and type it into the search bar on the internet. Then if you decide you want to know even more, come to any of us, and tell us the to people Nudge was talking about tonight, First and last name." And she stepped away.

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_Wel dere ya go! a longun'!_

_I don'ts own M ride or twitwi!_


	4. Chapter 4

_This is voice._

_**This is max.**_

_**This is angel.**_

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We had spent the night and somehow the Cullens got us to stay.

It wasn't a big deal, except for the fact they got us to stay for a _week_.

I knew the only wanted us to stay because Edward hadn't found my full name, and I never expected him to.

We all knew how to use a mental shield, so they couldn't get into our heads.

Tonight was our last night to stay, and we decided to play a friendly game of trades.

Angel came and said we all needed to talk.

"Max, I think it's time for them to know." I sighed.

_You know they're on your side, right? _Uhhhhh, stupid voice!

_**I know, I'm just afraid that our only friends won't want us anymore.**_

___Well, it's a risk to take. If they're any friend of yours, you know they'll have to deal with it._

"Yeah." I said that to voice and Angel.

"And I think I know exactly how to do it." I was determined.

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Edward's POV.

Tonight was their silly game of trades.

I wasn't playing, still trying to crack the code that was the girl's name.

then the name's of the two people Nudge was talking about.

The Ride's team was first. Fang was up first. I couldn't help but watch.

He pointed to Max. "Max!" Emmet yelled.

He nodded his head.

He pointed to Iggy, then Esme. "Iggy Esme? Iggy Esmom, Iggy Esmum. Iggy mum! Max Iggy mum, Max I,I,I,… Maximum!" Rosalie yelled.

Fang nodded.

He pretended to be riding a rollercoaster. "Rollercoaster? Rollercoaster ride? Ride! Ride! Maximum Ride!" Jasper said.

I looked over at Max, she winked.

I typed Maximum Ride into the search engine.

About a million things popped up.

It was the other teams turn, I spent the time looking for something useful.

Max was up next.

She pointed to Fang, then made a typing motion. "Fang type? Fang write, Fang story, hmm… Blog! Fang Blog!" Alice exclaimed.

Then, Max made a two with her left hand, the made one with her right. "Two, two? Twenty-two!" Carlisle said,

"Fang's Blog, page twenty-two!" Esme said.

So I got on Fang's blog, and went to page twenty-two.

Right at the top it said, "Jeb Batchelder and Anne Walker!"

Max looked at me and said, "I guess it's time."


	5. Author's note

Hey, I wont be able to write anything from Monday thru Friday cause I'm going on a trip with my grandparents.


	6. READ THIS! IMPORTANT!

**Sorry, only author's note, but IMPORTANT author's note:**

**I know! I'm not dead! I've been having **_**MAJOR**_ writer's block with my stories. So, I created a new profile for when I have writer's block with this one. If you've read my stories on that profile you'll find an author's note similar to this one. My other profile is Niggysupporter. So when I'm having writer's block with this one, I'll be writing those stories. And when I'm having writer's block with that one, I'll be writing these stories. Anyways, back to the author's note… School starts tomorrow. I'm going to have A BUNCH of projects this year, cause I'm in the top grade in my school. Plus GT. So I'll update when I can, but they'll probably be long and far apart. It hopefully won't be as long as this whole writer's block has been. But the keyword in that sentence is hopefully, so… Yeah. On a healthier note, go check out my other profile!


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